#2220

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY, THAT SON OF A BITCH IS SUCH A PERFECT FUCKIN' PIECE A' SHIT!"

—to Ramona, about the Doctor

#2219

"Friends are able to see each other naked, unless it's my girlfriend and that fuckin' doctor." 

—to Emma, after begging her over and over for a video of her pussy

#2182

"Do you think my mother would agree with you not tellin' me how you saw the doctor naked and how he saw you—nyeh—your tits and—and—and in your panties? You think my mother would agree with that?" 

—to Ramona

#2154

"We are not broken up, and you wanna—engghgg—you better take—nnghg—take your ass into consideration that I don't want him around you!" 

—to Ramona, about the Doctor

#2138

"You don't bring the guy that your boyfriend doesn't like SHOPPING."

—to Emma, about Ramona and the Doctor

#2110

Ramona, about the Doctor:
"Why are you so obsessed with this guy?"

Lorne:
"Because you're MAKIN' me obsessed!"

#1992

"That is nothing but HORSESHIT and SEXUAL BULLSHIT!"

—to Emma, about Ramona and the Doctor

#1816

"Three seconds is a long time to stand there and fuckin' look at somebody's cock."

—to Emma, about Ramona and the Doctor

#1782

"When you have a boyfriend you don't let some other guy take you out to dinner and wipe your mouth off!"

—to Ramona, about the Doctor 

#1777

"But then you have no reason to not tell me about it, but you still—you still don't tell me about it. You have no reason to not tell me about it, but you still.... try to not tell me about it."

—to Ramona, about seeing the Doctor naked 

#1758

"I don't give a fuck! She don't belong BEHIND him!"

—to Ember, about Ramona shaving the Doctor's back

#1743

"Hey, is the doctor there laughing with you?! Because the way you're putting it off, the doctor's right there fuckin' laughing with you, and probably waggin' his fuckin' dink." 

—to Ramona

#1565

"If my woman fuckin' believed in me, I can work fuckin' miracles."

—to Ramona, after she told him he would never be the kind man the Doctor is

#1407

Lorne:
"Do you want [the doctor] or do you want me?!"

Ramona:
"You."

Lorne:
"Then get his fuckin' ass in here—in that same room as you, and fuckin' get him right there wi—I want you right there, and him right there, and I want you to say that!"

#1233

"Not a word from you today! !!!!! You
fucked horse!!!!!! I want to fuckin
puke PAULA! !!!!!!!!!!!!!"

—text to Ramona (not a typo), referring to the Doctor, who Lorne refers to as "Horse Dink"

#1197

"Hey, don't worry, girl! I know you wanna fuckin' wrap your lips around that fuckin' piece of shit's COCK!"

—to Ramona, about the Doctor

#983

"I want you to stop protecting him. I want you to stop sticking up for him when it comes to me. He is not your boyfriend—I am. When are you gonna start stickin' up for me?"

—to Ramona, about the Doctor 

#957

Ramona:
"You're an alcoholic."

Lorne:
"Yeah, well, you got some shit goin' on with the doctor you're not bein' honest about."

#828

"That motherfucker is a major fuckin' threat to me, because you fuckin' put him there, and nobody else did it, so take responsibility for what YOU fuckin' did."

—to Ramona, about the Doctor

#822

"LOVING SOMEONE IS NOT BRINGING A DOCTOR IN CLOSER THAT IS A THREAT TO YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

—to Ramona