—to Jamie
#2233
Lorne:
"Whatta you want?"
Winnie:
"Just returning your call, asshole."
Lorne:
"You won a Virginia car?"
#2232
"A lot of 'em on [To Catch a Predator]—they get on there are actually predators. I'm—I'm probably the only one that wasn't a predator—an actual predator."
—to Crestfallen, who was playing a music executive
#2231
"Even if your arm was broke—even if BOTH your arms were broke, you CAN reach down and clean your own goddamn pussy!"
—to Winnie
#2229
"A nurse isn't there to go around telling everybody how nice their titslook!"
—to Jamie, about Mark
#2226
Angleo:
"At least I don't have a sex crime [record], you f*ckin' pedophile."
Lorne:
"Ehhd nehhd—aren't you awful intelligent."
#2225
"Remember when we first started—when we first started out—mmngph—were were talkin'—we were talkin' about havin' a reality show? The only—the only two people in the world that would be able to do that and actually—and it actually work out would be me and you."
—to Cas3y
#2223
"I know you're thinkin' about layin' down, but I'm talking about my MOM here."
—to Emma, who wanted to go to sleep because it was 3AM
#2220
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY, THAT SON OF A BITCH IS SUCH A PERFECT F*CKIN' PIECE A' SHIT!"
—to Ramona, about the Doctor
#2219
"Friends are able to see each other naked, unless it's my girlfriend and that f*ckin' doctor."
—to Emma, after begging her over and over for a video of her pussy
#2218
"You take that outta your f*ckin' mouth or I'm hangin' up the phone and not lettin' you call me back!"
—to Casey (Winnie), when she had a dead mouse in her mouth after a car accident
#2217
"Will and Carter, I don't mind them. As long as they keep their finger away from your ass."
—to Jamie
#2215
"You don't need to use your body to make money. You can use your body in other ways, like your modeling. But you've got a f*ckin' brain on your head that I'm—I'm—it shocks the hell out of me how smart you are."
—to Human-Jamie (not a typo—he said "brain on your head")
#2214
"I'm her FIANCÉ! I'm trying to f*ckin' be there for her! But instead she's f*ckin' turnin' to YOU with everything! And I'm right in the f*ckin' PUCKERBRUSH, not f*ckin' knowing anything about how she feels or how she's doing!"
—to Will, about Jamie
#2212
"Your nipples. Your nipples. The nipple part that sticks out. The nipple itself."
—to Jamie, clarifying what he means when he says "nipples"
#2210
"It f*ckin' grosses me out that those f*cks f*ckin' contacted her. She didn't ask for that; she didn't deserve that."
—to Paul M, about the OTHER predators that contacted Casey
#2209
"I didn't meet the real PeeWee Herman. It was just a representative."
—to Jamie
 |
| A 17-year old Lorne, a PeeWee Herman representative, and an unfortunate unknown child |
#2208
"In MY mind, we were."
—to Tiffany (Debbie), on whether or not he and Paula were actually in a relationship (they were not)
#2205
"Do I need to check myself?! Or do you—do you need to have f*ckin' GG clean your f*ckin' VAGINA again?!"
—to Winnie
#2204
Lorne:
"My reaction was from feeling hurt."
Ramona:
"Hurt over WHAT, Lorne? I was all by myself!"
Lorne:
"Just the whehh—the capital letters 'GO AWAY.' That's what hurt me."
#2203
"Surprisingly.... because of where I cooked it.... surprisingly.... tastes really good."
—to YouTube viewers, referring to the vegan pasta he made on his cooking show
#2202
"So f*ck that... F*ckin' wait around all f*ckin' day to f*ckin' try to help out a stupid f*ck like that... F*ck, that irritates the f*ck out of me."
—to Jamie, about Samantha's refusal to live in his shipping container
#2201
"My penis smells good."
—to Rhoda, his girlfriend's 18-year-old daughter who referred to him as "Daddy"
#2200
"We were s'pose to be together in July. We were s'pose to be together in July, but that got shot outta the ass because coronavirus."
—to Jamie
#2199
"Okay, let's not concentrate on the lollipop right now! A lollipop is not gonna possess you THAT much."
—to Winnie
#2198
"They lost the contract. The people that had the contract before Dwayne had the contract got the contract back."
—to Jamie, about the contract
#2196
"When they can't use the shitter or take a shower when they want to, it's nice to see the smile on their face when they're finally able to."
—to Will, on why Lorne likes working in the septic industry
 |
| "I can shit again! Thanks, Lorne!" |
#2194
"He really had to be a dumbass son of a bitch [because] he couldn't tell your—your voice was fake."
—Emma, about Stanley falling for catfishes (seriously)
#2190
"My f*ckin' girlfriend is suckin' cock. I guess I can f*ckin' flirt with f*ckin' women on the phone."
— to Emma and Nathanielette
#2189
"People in Maine, they—most of 'em really watch after their animals quite–quite a lot. They're quite heavy on their animals."
—to Paul Mauro
#2188
"I guess I'll go back on the auction, see what I can find. See if I can find your—your Hope Diamond..... or Blood Diamond."
—to Cas3y, referring to her favorite stones
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#2186
"I don't know what the f*ck they're giving you for drugs to get over this heroin, but... it's taking a toll on ME because you're not giving me any attention."
—to Tiffany (Debbie)