#2027

"My dogs aren't my ex-lovers."

—to Jamie 

#2057

Lorne:

"The temperature in here now is 32 degrees."

Winnie:

"How come you don't fuckin' find a way for your dogs to be warm, idiot?"

Lorne:

"They have COATS on—they ARE warm."

(Editor's note: 32° Fahrenheit = 0°Celsius, the point of freezing. Also, see quote #2039)

#2039

"I'll kill any motherfucker that mistreats a dog—an animal—period."

—to Paul M

A still from a video depicting Lorne's dog Roscoe tied to a treadmill

#1965

"They're all gonna be fixed, so they won't be able to get hard-ons. That just makes it more fun for me, because then when I come home, I KNOW you're gonna be ready for ME."

—to Winnie, about eliminating DOGS as a sexual rival (I swear)

#1631

"I'll probably have to put Bud out when Mitchell comes."

—to Emma, referring to his dog ROSCOE

#1560

"Mommy is so fuckin' HOT, Roscoe! Daddy can't wait to stick his cock in—HER cock in—in his ass! In his pussy." 

—to Roscoe, his dog, about Winnie