#2025

"Remember when we first started—when we first started out—mmngph—were were talkin'—we were talkin' about havin' a reality show? The only—the only two people in the world that would be able to do that and actually—and it actually work out would be me and you."

—to Cas3y

#2222

"She is a special person. Her parents died when she was 17." 

—to Cas3y, about Jamie

#2195

"How many lies have I told you in the last week?"

—to Cas3y, bragging about his honesty

#2188

"I guess I'll go back on the auction, see what I can find. See if I can find your—your Hope Diamond..... or Blood Diamond."

—to Cas3y, referring to her favorite stones

#2167

Cas3y:
"Is your throat okay?"

Lorne:
"No. I feel like it got filled with shit when you told me his nose was perfect."


—text referring to Alex Jones

#2158

"Boomer was a little black laboratory puppy who lived with his family." 

—to Cas3y & Jamie, reading from his children's book Boomer's Adventures

#2143

"Thank you for being in my dream last night. I had to lick pizza sauce off your cheek but it was enjoyable lol" 

—text to Cas3y

#2141

"OMG!!! If you only knew how long i've waited for the picture to come in my email to be the picture of you and from you"

—email to Cas3y

#2113

"I will put clothes on when you're here... if we really need to have clothes on." 

—to Cas3y, when he was planning Cas3y's first visit

#2111

"I just had a banana and watermelon for dinner." 

—text to Cas3y 

#2086

Will (to Cas3y): 

"I can hear the steam coming out of his ears, trying to think."

Lorne:

"Ahhbdeh—I think that's probably your own steam in your own eyes, Will."

#2075

"I stuck my tongue all the way in. All of what I had of my tongue."

—to Cas3y, about performing oral sex on a woman

#2060

"It sits on your finger. It's just a reminder of me, so when you look down at it you can think about me." 

—to Cas3y, about a ring he wants to give her, proving that even his gifts are given for selfish reasons

#2051

"I just went to pee too. You should have held it for me. I had a hard-on." 

—text to Cas3y

#2049

"I've had a lot of people tell me that I look like Justin Timberlake."

—to Cas3y & Jamie

I was going to label the picture, but I forget which one is Lorne.

#2044

"You will be legally over the limit and drunk and it will look bad on your resume."

—text to Cas3y, after she said she was going to drive after having 2 beers

#2031

 

Lorne:
"They think my teeth are in really bad shape. My teeth are NOT in bad shape. They're stained. My teeth are stained, and that front one is a crown. That's why that one's off-color. There's nothin' medically wrong with 'em, other than—the only thing wrong with 'em is they're stained from—from coffee and cigarettes. That's the only things that's wrong with 'em. They're stained AFTER 30 YEARS."

Cas3y:
"They're chipped and they're broken."

Lorne:
"That's from a cavity. I had a cavity on the front tooth. That's what happened with my other front tooth—I had a cavity on it, and part of it chipped off. My other one has a filling and I've had a couple molars pulled, and I've had two of my wisdom teeth taken out. That's the only thing wrong with my teeth."

#2029

"Really?? Wow."

—to Cas3y, absolutely shocked after she said she didn't recall the name 'Lorne Armstrong'

#2026

"I don't think a church mouse pays taxes."

—to Cas3y

#2005

"The sale of Red Sox hats went up because of those Church a' Cawd idiots."

—to Cas3y