#1995

"Women are top fuckin' notch. I was raised by my mom. That's why women are top-notch—what they say goes."

—to Human-Jamie 

#1769

"I live better WITHOUT a lot of money than I would WITH a lot of money."

—to Human-Jamie

#1765

"I got a—eh—a fuckin' MILLIMETER of her fuckin' time today and that COCKSUCKER was there all FUCKING day with her, Jamie!"

—to Human-Jamie, about Debbie and Angelo

#1642

"I love Debbie. I'm in love with Debbie. She's—she's so FUCKING awesome and... it just... it blew my fucking mind. She is so goddamn fuckin' awesome. I've never met a woman so awesome as her." 

—to Human-Jamie 

#1634

"I respect women to no end." 

—to Human-Jamie

#1632

"This motherfucker ruined my Mother's Day!" 

—to Human-Jamie, about Angelo 

#1628

"I know it would upset Winnie, I don't wanna upset Winnie, I love Winnie. Winnie knows I love Winnie. Everybody knows I love Winnie, I'll always love Winnie. I won't stop talking to Winnie." 

—to Human-Jamie

#1579

"That's actually probably about the same thickness as mine."

—to Human-Jamie, about Lamondre

#1574

"So... okay, that's allllll I'm leaving for a message for now, other than saying 'I love you'.... and I wish you were here.... and you give me a hard-on."

—voicemail to Human-Jamie 

#1546

"Even in there, people could tell I was a friendly guy and liked being around me."

—to Human-Jamie, about prison

#1535

"You love bein' fucked daily, but do you love that it's not by me?"

—to Human-Jamie 

#1530

"You're very extremely grown-up for someone that's gonna be 24."

—to Human-Jamie

#1512

"It jumped my heart and that's what made the needle bounce."

—to Human-Jamie, about failing a polygraph

#1474

"I loved being in a room with a Mexican." 

—to Human-Jamie, about his cellmate

#1458

"I'm not gonna masturbate in the damn truck. This isn't California, this is Maine."

—to Human-Jamie

#1439

"I had gone bankrupt because of NIKKI."

—to Human-Jamie 

#1416

Human-Jamie:
"The amount of cock pics you sent today—I counted, like, 5."

Lorne [laughing]:
"You would have counted about 8 if I had taken a couple others."

#1361

Human Jamie:
"Why was she in your phone under "Mom N"?

Lorne:
"Because I told probation that I would stop having anything to do with Nikki."

#1331

"There was like 5 or 6 times that they caught me."

—to Human Jamie, about probation catching him drinking

#1298

"I had started growing feelings for Nikki, cuz I had spent so much time with her."

—to Human-Jamie, after she asked if the reason probation didn't like the relationship with Nikki was because she had children—classic deflection