#2052

"I am not gonna laugh at things that are not laughable about."

—to Emma, when he didn't find it funny that she called him "Mr. Penis"

#2051

"I just went to pee too. You should have held it for me. I had a hard-on." 

—text to Cas3y

#2050

"I don't defend what I did. I defend what I know I did not WANT to do."

—to the Therapist, about trying to molest a 13-year-old

#2049

"I've had a lot of people tell me that I look like Justin Timberlake."

—to Cas3y & Jamie

I was going to label the picture, but
I forget which one is Lorne.

#2048

"I'm not making you happy because you're not making ME happy!"

—to Ramona

#2047

"Alright, let's go."

—to Silent Rick, who did not exist

#2046

"I'd compare [your boobs] to... a balloon full of... actually a balloon full of water. Full of water so it's... tight."

—to Jamie

#2045

"I do think that Iraq had something to do with it; that there was somethin' between Saddam Hussein and Bin Laden. I'm sure they talked a few times, I'm sure."

—to Paul Mauro, about 9/11

#2044

"You will be legally over the limit and drunk and it will look bad on your resume."

—text to Cas3y, after she said she was going to drive after having 2 beers

#2043

"How can you NOT live... without looking for a message from this guy when you're on the phone with me?!"

—to Jamie, about Rawd

#2042

"Stop fawkin' knowin' it all!"

—to Winnie

#2041

"People are doing a good job at being too noticeable."

—to Dan, about how no one answers the phone when Lorne calls, but they answer when other people call, and the fact that Lorne has figured that shit out