#809

"Ohhh, callin' me a pedophile, tryin' to impress your boyfriends!"

—to Winnie

#808

"I was offended by the dress that they had her wearing because of the predators that are out there."

—to Cas3y, about a 9-year-old girl on television whom Lorne admitted fantasizing about

#807

Jamie:
"She's sweet."

Lorne:
"OF COURSE SHE IS! SHE SENDS YOU PICTURES OF HER TITS!!"

#806

"So you keepin' the kid?"

—to Tiffany/Casey, about her unborn child

#805

"Do you care about me? And I don't want a go-around answer."

—to Ramona

#804

"You gonna dance with your BITCH that you got there that's gonna FUCK you tonight?!"

—to Winnie

#803

"I don't have a problem admitting when I'm wrong."

—to Cas3y

#802

“I love hearing your breath on the phone.”

—to Jamie

#801

Lorne:
"Hang on, I gotta button my pants back up."

Tiffany:
"Don't. Keep them down."

Lorne:
"ENHGHHGHHHHow the fuck did you just know that?! [laughs like an idiot] That's fucked up! How'd you know I was doin' that?! That's fucked right up—ehghnngnghguh—that's kinda fucked up that you knew I had to button my pants up."

#800

Lorne:
"What city is your house in?"

Winnie:
"Inglewood."

Lorne:
"Yeah, in the woods. Can't eve—can't even be honest with me about that."

#799

"I'm fucking telling you, I am THE most fuckin' safe person around children—around anyone!"

—to Ramona

#798

"You are out tonight to get a cock stuck in you."

—to Winnie 

#797

"Maria had no reason to lie 9 times in court under oath, and she did."

—to Cas3y, about Maria, his counselor

#796

"I wanna know why he's mentioning level 69 to you."

—to Jamie, about James   

#795

"I love your innocents."

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy (not a typo)

#794

"As much as I put my fucking heart into the person that loves me, that's what they're gonna get back!"

—to Ramona

[Editor's Note: I know, makes zero sense]

#793

"What if blood is coming out of my mouth, are you gonna do everything you can—are you gonna do mouth-to-mouth?"

—to Tiffany

#792

"How many guys have you lifted your fuckin' skirt up to?"

—to Winnie 

#791

"When I first started talking to her I wanted to look out for her. And then ... then it just turned around. And 'til this day I still try to figure that out.”

—to Cas3y, about Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy

#790

"I didn't call you a bitch. I called you an asshole, because you're being an asshole."

—to Ramona

#789

"Have you already been naked tonight?"

—to Jamie

#788

"Your pussy is my tacos."

—to Tiffany/Casey 

#787

"Call Dan, but you better fuckin' stick to whuh—what I fuckin' said because you and I are on the balance."

—to Winnie

#786

"I did learn my lesson. At least I'm smart enough to believe you."

—to Cas3y    

#785

Lorne:
"You're part of fuckin' Nathaniel!"

Ramona:
"Wait, I thought I was Paula."

Lorne:
"Yeah, well, you're fuckin' both of 'em!"

#784

"Can I call you 'Mrs. Kayla Armstrong'?"

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy

#783

"YOU HAVE BEEN IN PERSON WITH FUCKING DAN! HOW DO I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T SUCKED HIS COCK?!"

—to Winnie 

#782

"I wanna know more about this song with the turtle's panties fallin' off."

—text to Jamie

#781

"She lies all through her fuckin' teeth."

—to Cas3y, about Paula

#780

"If you've cheated on me, then I need to know about it. If-if-if you fuckin' haven't cheated on me, I need to know. If you talk bad about my mom, I need to know. If you praise my mom, I need to fuckin' know."

—to Ramona 

#779

"Don't laugh at me. If you laugh at me I'll hang up, because it just tells me you're not serious about us."

—to Tiffany

#778

"Whatta ya want, boo-boo. Big fucking boo-boo. Big fucking boo-boo since now I know you and Dan have been having fuckin' phone sex. Oops! Whaaaaaaat a fuckin' big boo-boo! That's a biiiiig fucking boo-boo, considering I figured it all out."

—to Winnie

#777

"Yesterday I sent you a picture of my cock, and you never even noticed! And you never even scrolled up to see when you did know!"

—to Jamie 

#776

"Do I look cuter on cam than I do in that picture?"

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy (1st day)

#775

"I got basically booted out of the group of friends I had just because I decided not to play basketball. So I remained quiet for 5 years."

—to Cas3y

#774

Ramona:
"So we're back to the doctor, hey?"

Lorne:
"Well, hey, you put the cocksucker there, not me. I certainly did not put him there."

#773

"If you start to defend your dad you know I'm gonna be pissed off. So you better think ... about a hundred times ... before you defend your dad."

—to Tiffany/Casey

#772

"Well ... I bet ANY guy would be happy you're eating a fuckin' pretzel."

—to Winnie, in a strange attempt to accuse her of cheating 

#771

"STOP FUCKIN' TRYING TO DITCH EVERY FUCKIN' THING I SAY!"

—to Jamie 

#770

"You just made my penis big by telling me that. Want to see?"

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy

#769

"My mother is number one. Even with you right there—doesn't matter. My mom is number one."

—to Ramona

#768

"And he's already given you hints of getting to level 69 and bein' devilish!"

—to Jamie, about James

#767

"The fuckin' rape .... I heard it happen .... how hard did you fight."

—to Winnie

#766

“Money doesn't scare me. Never has, never will.”

—to Tiffany/Casey

#765

“It was a thinking error that I had.”

—to Cas3y, about masturbating to high school girls

#764

"YOU WANT ME TO BE A FUCKIN' PRINCE?! START PAYIN' ATTENTION TO ME!!"

—to Ramona 

#763

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN' ON WITH THIS GODDAMN CHEF BOYAR-BITCH?!!" 

—to Jamie, about Cheffrey

#762

"Do you want me or have you already got somebody lined up tonight for you to fuck."

—to Winnie

#761

"We need to work on your manners, because we noticed your dad never teached you about manners."

—to Tiffany/Casey

#760

"I was bein' sexual with someone I shouldn't have been being sexual with."

—to Cas3y, about Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy