"Why'n'cha come here so I can—so I can pet your pussy."
—to Winnie
#2010
"It fuckin' grosses me out that those fucks fuckin' contacted her. She didn't ask for that; she didn't deserve that."
—to Paul M, about the OTHER predators that contacted Casey
#2209
"I didn't meet the real PeeWee Herman. It was just a representative."
—to Jamie
 |
| A 17-year old Lorne, a PeeWee Herman representative, and an unfortunate unknown child |
#2208
"In MY mind, we were."
—to Tiffany (Debbie), on whether or not he and Paula were actually in a relationship (they were not)
#2205
"Do I need to check myself?! Or do you—do you need to have fuckin' GG clean your fuckin' VAGINA again?!"
—to Winnie
#2204
Lorne:
"My reaction was from feeling hurt."
Ramona:
"Hurt over WHAT, Lorne? I was all by myself!"
Lorne:
"Just the whehh—the capital letters 'GO AWAY.' That's what hurt me."
#2203
"Surprisingly.... because of where I cooked it.... surprisingly.... tastes really good."
—to YouTube viewers, referring to the vegan pasta he made on his cooking show
#2202
"So fuck that... Fuckin' wait around all fuckin' day to fuckin' try to help out a stupid fuck like that... Fuck, that irritates the fuck out of me."
—to Jamie, about Samantha's refusal to live in his shipping container
#2201
"My penis smells good."
—to Rhoda, his girlfriend's 18-year-old daughter who referred to him as "Daddy"
#2200
"We were s'pose to be together in July. We were s'pose to be together in July, but that got shot outta the ass because coronavirus."
—to Jamie
#2199
"Okay, let's not concentrate on the lollipop right now! A lollipop is not gonna possess you THAT much."
—to Winnie
#2198
"They lost the contract. The people that had the contract before Dwayne had the contract got the contract back."
—to Jamie, about the contract
#2196
"When they can't use the shitter or take a shower when they want to, it's nice to see the smile on their face when they're finally able to."
—to Will, on why Lorne likes working in the septic industry
 |
| "I can shit again! Thanks, Lorne!" |
#2194
"He really had to be a dumbass son of a bitch [because] he couldn't tell your—your voice was fake."
—Emma, about Stanley falling for catfishes (seriously)
#2190
"My fuckin' girlfriend is suckin' cock. I guess I can fuckin' flirt with fuckin' women on the phone."
— to Emma and Nathanielette
#2189
"People in Maine, they—most of 'em really watch after their animals quite–quite a lot. They're quite heavy on their animals."
—to Paul Mauro
#2188
"I guess I'll go back on the auction, see what I can find. See if I can find your—your Hope Diamond..... or Blood Diamond."
—to Cas3y, referring to her favorite stones
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#2186
"I don't know what the fuck they're giving you for drugs to get over this heroin, but... it's taking a toll on ME because you're not giving me any attention."
—to Tiffany (Debbie)
#2184
"You have nothing to worry about. You've seen my cock. My cock is thick. So I'm definitely gonna feel your walls."
—to Winnie (Casey)
#2183
"Wuh–I'd'na—I know—I didn't—hdngh—I tried to stop, but when I stopped, deh—nnngh—my voice interrupted the rest of what you were saying."
—to Jamie, explaining why he didn't hear what she said
#2182
"Do you think my mother would agree with you not tellin' me how you saw the doctor naked and how he saw you—nyeh—your tits and—and—and in your panties? You think my mother would agree with that?"
—to Ramona
#2181
"Pretend my pecker is right in front of you —right in front of your face. All you gotta do is open your eyes to see it."
—to Winnie, trying to wake her up from her COMA!
#2179
"Edgar Allen Poe? He's an author, I think. Why, what's he sayin'?"
—to Winnie, about Edgar Allen Poe sending Lorne supportive emails
#2178
"Her mother's a fuckin' whore."
—to Rhoda, about his girlfriend Winnie's mother, and Rhoda's grandmother
#2177
"Well, you got your fuckin' cigarettes—what the hell you need him to smell your armpits for?!"
—Casey (Winnie)
#2175
"I've had too many years of keeping bad things in my head. So I intentionally forget things."
—to Jamie
#2174
"Yeah, but guess what. Guess what. At least I know I'm not a fuckin' porky pig. So—yeh—maybe you better take pride in that, because my stomach doesn't stay fuckin' big for long."
—to Winnie
#2170
"Casey, that's your Dad. You shouldn't be carrying around pictures of your Dad's penis on your phone."
#2165
"She said, 'Just make sure you don't... that you don't lose yourself and try to help Wendy out.'
And I said, 'No, I'm not going to.'
And she said, 'I know you're a rescuer.'
I said, 'Yeah. You do know me.' "
—to Jamie, recounting a conversation he had with Stacey the day after Tony died
#2164
Ramona:
"So we're about to have a sale, and so I've just been really busy preparing for it. Plus, I just hired someone, so, a lot's goin' on."
Lorne:
"Is he good lookin'?"
#2163
"Your sister isn't looking out for you—your sister is looking out for your sister, and that's it. She's looking out for her and her pussy, and that's all she cares about."
—to Winnie, about Debbie