#2201

"My penis smells good."

—to Rhoda, his girlfriend's 18-year-old daughter who referred to him as "Daddy"

#2200

"We were s'pose to be together in July. We were s'pose to be together in July, but that got shot outta the ass because coronavirus."

—to Jamie

#2199

"Okay, let's not concentrate on the lollipop right now! A lollipop is not gonna possess you THAT much."

—to Winnie

#2198

"They lost the contract. The people that had the contract before Dwayne had the contract got the contract back."

—to Jamie, about the contract

#2197

"You're not even TRYING to fuckin' love me."

—to Winnie

#2196

"When they can't use the shitter or take a shower when they want to, it's nice to see the smile on their face when they're finally able to."

—to Will, on why Lorne likes working in the septic industry

"I can shit again! Thanks, Lorne!"

#2195

"How many lies have I told you in the last week?"

—to Cas3y, bragging about his honesty

#2194

"He really had to be a dumbass son of a bitch [because] he couldn't tell your—your voice was fake."

—Emma, about Stanley falling for catfishes (seriously)

#2193

"I'll follow you around the house with my nose stuck up your pussy."

—to Jamie

#2192

"If I tell you to suck my dick, are you going to?"

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy

#2191

"I KNOW I didn't laugh. If I did laugh, it wasn't a funny laugh."

—to Winnie

#2190

"My fuckin' girlfriend is suckin' cock. I guess I can fuckin' flirt with fuckin' women on the phone."

— to Emma and Nathanielette

#2189

"People in Maine, they—most of 'em really watch after their animals quite–quite a lot. They're quite heavy on their animals."

—to Paul Mauro

#2188

"I guess I'll go back on the auction, see what I can find. See if I can find your—your Hope Diamond..... or Blood Diamond."

—to Cas3y, referring to her favorite stones

#2187

Jamie:
"Did you use protection?"

Lorne:
"Nope. She was fixed. Didn't have to."

#2186

"I don't know what the fuck they're giving you for drugs to get over this heroin, but... it's taking a toll on ME because you're not giving me any attention."

—to Tiffany (Debbie)

#2185

"Don't Ramona! Don't Ramonaaa! This is not the time to tell me how much of an asshole I am!"

#2184

"You have nothing to worry about. You've seen my cock. My cock is thick. So I'm definitely gonna feel your walls." 

—to Winnie (Casey)

#2183

"Wuh–I'd'na—I know—I didn't—hdngh—I tried to stop, but when I stopped, deh—nnngh—my voice interrupted the rest of what you were saying." 

—to Jamie, explaining why he didn't hear what she said

#2182

"Do you think my mother would agree with you not tellin' me how you saw the doctor naked and how he saw you—nyeh—your tits and—and—and in your panties? You think my mother would agree with that?" 

—to Ramona

#2181

"Pretend my pecker is right in front of you —right in front of your face. All you gotta do is open your eyes to see it."

—to Winnie, trying to wake her up from her COMA!

#2180

Roy:
"You're still my baby brother."

Lorne:
"I'm your YOUNGEST brother. I'm not a baby."

#2179

"Edgar Allen Poe? He's an author, I think. Why, what's he sayin'?"

—to Winnie, about Edgar Allen Poe sending Lorne supportive emails

#2178

"Her mother's a fuckin' whore."

—to Rhoda, about his girlfriend Winnie's mother, and Rhoda's grandmother

#2177

"Well, you got your fuckin' cigarettes—what the hell you need him to smell your armpits for?!"

—Casey (Winnie)

#2176

"I put 10 months of my heart into you."

–to Ramona

#2175

"I've had too many years of keeping bad things in my head. So I intentionally forget things."

—to Jamie

#2174

"Yeah, but guess what. Guess what. At least I know I'm not a fuckin' porky pig. So—yeh—maybe you better take pride in that, because my stomach doesn't stay fuckin' big for long."

—to Winnie

#2173

"I love to her pieces. More pieces—more pieces than fuckin' possible."

—to Will, about Jamie

#2172

"It doesn't feel like you wanna fuckin' spend time with me if you continuously hang up!"

 —to Jamie 

#2171

"If you were only in love with me for my butthole then you weren't really in love with me anyway." 

—to Winnie

#2170

"Casey, that's your Dad. You shouldn't be carrying around pictures of your Dad's penis on your phone."

#2169

"None of us kids have ever neglected any kids."

—to Winnie & Lj

#2168

"Jamie, it's not mental gymnastics! It's called human!" 

#2167

Cas3y:
"Is your throat okay?"

Lorne:
"No. I feel like it got filled with shit when you told me his nose was perfect."


—text referring to Alex Jones

#2166

"I love both your boobs. And I love the woman that's inside 'em." 

—to Winnie

#2165

"She said, 'Just make sure you don't... that you don't lose yourself and try to help Wendy out.' 

And I said, 'No, I'm not going to.' 

And she said, 'I know you're a rescuer.' 

I said, 'Yeah. You do know me.' " 

—to Jamie, recounting a conversation he had with Stacey the day after Tony died

#2164

Ramona:

"So we're about to have a sale, and so I've just been really busy preparing for it. Plus, I just hired someone, so, a lot's goin' on."

Lorne:

"Is he good lookin'?"

#2163

"Your sister isn't looking out for you—your sister is looking out for your sister, and that's it. She's looking out for her and her pussy, and that's all she cares about." 

—to Winnie, about Debbie

#2162

"Porn is not love. Porn is movies."

—to Jamie

#2161

Lorne:

"I really didn't wanna do all that stuff. I didn't fuckin' go in that chatroom to look for a fuckin' teenybobber.

Emma:

"You went into a chatroom to look for what."

Lorne:

"Mmmgh mmgh—just to fuckin' look for an adult—an adult girl."

#2160

"Winnie! You get your goddamn mouth off that cat!"

—about a dead cat Winnie was trying to resuscitate 

#2159

"You're fuckin' naive. Even if you're a doctor and a gynecologist—they're fuckin' human. They walk around with a fuckin' hard-on all goddam day. You're never gonna fuckin' tell me different." 

—to Ramona 

#2158

"Boomer was a little black laboratory puppy who lived with his family." 

—to Cas3y & Jamie, reading from his children's book Boomer's Adventures

#2157

"I'd love to see you naked from the front."

—to Jamie, Lorne's fiancé

#2156

"But [women] don't want it from Hitler. They don't want cock from Hitler. He's dead." 

—to (Winelover) Rhoda

#2155

"My ass rash is clearing up."

—to Winnie, from jail

#2154

"We are not broken up, and you wanna—engghgg—you better take—nnghg—take your ass into consideration that I don't want him around you!" 

—to Ramona, about the Doctor

#2153

"Well, then stop sayin'—mmgh—about some other guy being up—all up in your Popeye."

—to Casey (Winnie), who actually said "puthay"

#2152

"The problem is, everybody in the world thinks that they have more than one life, and when they get done doin' screwin' up, they can do things over—ahhll—it dud'n happen that way." 

—to Ramona, trying to say 'you only live once'