—to Will, about how Lorne loves Jamie more than he's ever loved anyone
#2058
"I've never given such a fuck, and cared so much and... I've never been hurt by such little things so easily."
#2057
Lorne:
"The temperature in here now is 32 degrees."
Winnie:
"How come you don't fuckin' find a way for your dogs to be warm, idiot?"
Lorne:
"They have COATS on—they ARE warm."
(Editor's note: 32° Fahrenheit = 0°Celsius, the point of freezing. Also, see quote #2039)
#2052
"I am not gonna laugh at things that are not laughable about."
—to Emma, when he didn't find it funny that she called him "Mr. Penis"
#2050
"I don't defend what I did. I defend what I know I did not WANT to do."
—to the Therapist, about trying to molest a 13-year-old
#2049
"I've had a lot of people tell me that I look like Justin Timberlake."
—to Cas3y & Jamie
.png) |
| I was going to label the picture, but I forget which one is Lorne. |
#2046
"I'd compare [your boobs] to... a balloon full of... actually a balloon full of water. Full of water so it's... tight."
—to Jamie
#2045
"I do think that Iraq had something to do with it; that there was somethin' between Saddam Hussein and Bin Laden. I'm sure they talked a few times, I'm sure."
—to Paul Mauro, about 9/11
#2044
"You will be legally over the limit and drunk and it will look bad on your resume."
—text to Cas3y, after she said she was going to drive after having 2 beers
#2043
"How can you NOT live... without looking for a message from this guy when you're on the phone with me?!"
—to Jamie, about Rawd
#2041
"People are doing a good job at being too noticeable."
—to Dan, about how no one answers the phone when Lorne calls, but they answer when other people call, and the fact that Lorne has figured that shit out
#2040
"Nnyeh—it's not that I'm SELFISH, it's that I'm in love with you and—and the crap I've been through makes me do fucked up shit."
—to Ramona
#2039
"I'll kill any motherfucker that mistreats a dog—an animal—period."
—to Paul M
.png) |
A still from a video depicting Lorne's dog Roscoe tied to a treadmill |
#2038
"I don't care if you make fuckin' friends, but you don't need to give 'em your fuckin' phone number!"
—to Jamie
#2036
"Yeah, everybody has SEEN my cawk. But not everybody has FELT my cawk."
—to Winnie, assuring her she's still special to him
#2035
"When you try to put that point across, compared to what you used to say—say to me, it only makes me think more. So you might wanna decide how much you want me to think."
—to Jamie
#2034
"I don't wanna treat you bad. I wanna treat you like the princess that I think you are."
—to Winnie, the tub-shitter
#2033
"That fuckin' bitch is a piece a' shit! When're you gonna see that, mom?!"
—to Mama Gwen, about his sister and HER DAUGHTER, Laurie
#2032
"FUCK THAT FUCKIN' SITE! IT'S A PIECE A' SHIT!"
—to Emma, about a Church of Cawd Facebook group
(Editor's note: I just think it's funny to call a website a "piece a' shit")
#2031
Lorne:
"They think my teeth are in really bad shape. My teeth are NOT in bad shape. They're stained. My teeth are stained, and that front one is a crown. That's why that one's off-color. There's nothin' medically wrong with 'em, other than—the only thing wrong with 'em is they're stained from—from coffee and cigarettes. That's the only things that's wrong with 'em. They're stained AFTER 30 YEARS."
Cas3y:
"They're chipped and they're broken."
Lorne:
"That's from a cavity. I had a cavity on the front tooth. That's what happened with my other front tooth—I had a cavity on it, and part of it chipped off. My other one has a filling and I've had a couple molars pulled, and I've had two of my wisdom teeth taken out. That's the only thing wrong with my teeth."
#2030
"I don't think it's a fairy-tale thing, I think it's real. I think spirits live on and they either go to hell or they go to heaven. And my spirit's gonna go to heaven."
—to Winnie
#2029
"Really?? Wow."
—to Cas3y, absolutely shocked after she said she didn't recall the name 'Lorne Armstrong'
#2015
"I'm walkin' around with my hand on my head, thinkin' about your bellybutton picture, and your other pictures."
—to Winnie
#2014
Tiffany (Casey):
"Why would you call people faggots? That's pretty hateful."
Lorne:
"Cuz they are! I didn't put 'em there!"
#2013
"You're supposed to be my wife, Winnie, and you sucked on Dan's CAWK... when you were camping!"
#2012
"Why would you wanna—nyeh—spend so much time with another guy, and—and lose feeleh—and take the chance of losing feelings for me and getting feelings for him?"
—to Jamie, about Carter
#2010
"Why would you hide that from me when you've taken me in with you to go shit before?"
—to Winnie, angry that she was "hiding" her bathroom activities from him
#2009
"Today—today, you did it again today. DAN, every time I turn around—the fuckin' word DAN. Now I don't even like the name."
—to Tiffany (Casey)