#1560

"Mommy is so fuckin' HOT, Roscoe! Daddy can't wait to stick his cock in—HER cock in—in his ass! In his pussy." 

—to Roscoe, his dog, about Winnie

#1559

"I'm gonna cum in your dimples too."

—to Winnie

#1558

"Enjoy your FUCK with Will! Talk to ya never!"

—to Jamie

#1557

"I'm not twinkin' my ass for any guy."

—to Tiffany (Casey)

#1556

"We just got married and now you're cheatin' on me already."

—to Winnie, when she was overzealously eating a lollipop

#1555

"I'd so much love to be sucking on your nipples right now."

—to Jamie 

#1554

"Every fucking time you tell me he's not fuckin' ugly, and you stick up for that cocksucker, you are losing me."

—to Casey (Winnie), about Dan 

#1553

"I'm sliding away from trust because of what you're doing!"

—to Ramona

#1552

"When we get along, it's fuckin' gorgeous."

—to Will, about Jamie 

#1551

"Even when I was a kid I loved spending time with kids."

—to Tiffany 

#1550

"Maybe I have 'W' stuck in my head."

—to Cas3y

#1549

"I'll bend your fuckin' mom right over and fuck her right up the ass with a broomstick."

—to Dan, coming from the guy that says that all moms are GOLD

#1548

"If she did, she didn't tell me, and none landed on me."

—to Jamie, about whether or not "Tasha" had an orgasm

#1547

"I don't wanna screw up. I love it when I make you proud of me."

—voicemail to Tiffany (Debbie)

#1546

"Even in there, people could tell I was a friendly guy and liked being around me."

—to Human-Jamie, about prison

#1545

"I've never had any complaints about my ass. Until you."

—to Jamie

#1544

"I had to pull out the video of that nightmarish sting so that I could see you. Ugh! lol"

—email to Cas3y

#1543

Rhoda:
"I think that's pretty subjective."

Lorne:
"Aren't you using big words."

#1542

Winnie:
"You wouldn't like for me to sing in a band?"

Lorne:
"Ennhgh—yeah, if nobody tried to fuck you."

#1541

"I'm gettin' off the fuckin' phone! All you wanna do is find false with me!"

—to Jamie (not a typo—she asked him to spell it once)

#1540

"I want my tongue stuck in your pussy."

—to Winnie

#1539

"Yeah, well, I don't want you walkin' your ass in front of him."

—to Tiffany (Casey), about Dan

#1538

Lorne:
"I didn't tell her not to tell you!"

Jamie:
"Yes, you did."

Lorne:
"No, I did not! ... ... Oh, well, yeah, I did, because I didn't want you getting upset."

#1537

"I was in yard sale mode. I wasn't in Church a' Cawd mode."

—to Cas3y

#1536

"Winnie, hang on, baby, my mom's callin' me, alright? Hang on."

—said while paramedics were tending to Winnie immediately after her suicide attempt

#1535

"You love bein' fucked daily, but do you love that it's not by me?"

—to Human-Jamie 

#1534

 "I AM over it. I'm just pissed off about it."

—to Cas3y, about Jamie

#1533

"You fuckin' took me away from somebody that I fuckin' gave a shit about! Then I—then I gave a shit about you!"

—to Tiffany (Debbie), about how she ripped him from the arms of Winnie

#1532

"Christ, I've seen 'em naked ever since they were a baby, right up to... I don't know, 9 or 10."

—to Cas3y, about his nieces and nephew

#1531

"Talk about somebody ELSE'S mother like you don't—like she's a fuckin' worthless piece of FUCK, if you want! Don't talk about MINE like'at!"

—to Winnie

#1530

"You're very extremely grown-up for someone that's gonna be 24."

—to Human-Jamie

#1529

"Are you serious or are you fuckin' pullin' a pile a' shit?"

—to Cas3y

#1528

"Don't play this to make me the bad guy! I didn't WANT a relationship with Rhoda! I wanted to be her DAD!"

—to Winnie, when confronted about his having phone sex with Rhoda, whom he called his "stepdaughter"

#1527

"Obviously, I'm sexier than him because you're with me."

—to Tiffany (Casey), about Dan

#1526

"Even when you and I first started out, you still fuckin' drug him right in."

—to Cas3y, about Alex

#1525

"I have good enamel on my teeth."

—to Winnie

#1524

"I hardly ever yell."

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy

#1523

 "I literally have all of me into you."

—to Jamie

#1522

Winnie:
"You have a stupid face. Your arms are okay, your stomach is fat, and you suck it in in your videos. And your legs are okay too. Your feet are whack as fuck, yo. They look like they've been through fuckin' war. And your nose has a butt in the middle of it—it looks kinda like an ass. Just like you when you get drunk and stupid. You fuckin' asshole, you just wanted a medal last night for takin' a fuckin' cab. It shoulda been what you done on your own anyway—that's the only reason you answered the fuckin' phone. You're nothing but a performance artist in your own life. You need to be honest with your damn self about what you really are. You could find someone if you'd stop being a controlling bitch."

Lorne:
"Do you love me?"

Winnie:
"Yeah, I loathe you a lot."

Lorne:
"Okay. Thank you. That's all I care about."

#1521

"I have another muscle I'd like you both to take to bed too, but... kinda hard to do it from a distance."

—to Jamie & Cas3y, after flexing his bicep for them