#1783

"You wanna give me an ass attack? Well, come here and you can." 

—to Winnie, who actually said she wanted to give him an "acid bath"

#1782

"When you have a boyfriend you don't let some other guy take you out to dinner and wipe your mouth off!"

—to Ramona, about the Doctor 

#1781

"Is your parents going out tomorrow night?"

—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy

#1780

"I'm waiting for you to start loving me again."

—to Winnie

#1779

"Good morning, my future."

—text to Cas3y

#1778

"When your fiancé is calling you "bro," and it comes from another guy that she thinks is hot, and her friend is trying to hook them up when she's engaged—yeah, my penis is gonna fuckin' deflate."

—to Jamie, about her calling Lorne "bro" during phone sex 

#1777

"But then you have no reason to not tell me about it, but you still—you still don't tell me about it. You have no reason to not tell me about it, but you still.... try to not tell me about it."

—to Ramona, about seeing the Doctor naked 

#1776

Jamie:
"Why do you say you're 5'8" when you're 5'6"?"

Lorne:
"Because I can."

#1775

"Last one's a Mitchu Beechee!”

—to flagman Ralph

#1774

Cas3y:
"So why would you have an issue with my ex [sleeping] on the couch?"

Lorne:
"Because he took your virginity."

#1773

"You probably didn't even go to fuckin' Terry Hogan fuckin' Chevy."

—to Winnie 

#1772

"I thought it was a mutual agreement between us that we were together."

—to Tiffany (Debbie), about Paula, even though he also said that they never discussed being in a relationship

#1771

"You're supposed to be my girlfriend, why WOULDN'T you call me back?"

—to Ramona, after HE hung up on HER

#1770

"That was pretty... disgusting."

—to Paul, about the 9/11 terror attacks

#1769

"I live better WITHOUT a lot of money than I would WITH a lot of money."

—to Human-Jamie

#1768

"That was an evil-ass fuckin' laugh!"

—to Cas3y, about her writing "Hahahahaha" in a TEXT message

#1767

"You have a lot of other guys that you've intentionally been givin' a hard-on to."

—to Winnie

#1766

"Ehn-ehya—do ya—ennghg—do ya think I'm fuckin' stupid at what your goddamn bullshit is—is doin' right now?"

—to Jamie

#1765

"I got a—eh—a fuckin' MILLIMETER of her fuckin' time today and that COCKSUCKER was there all FUCKING day with her, Jamie!"

—to Human-Jamie, about Debbie and Angelo

#1764

"To me,  you're the only person in the world that has tits." 

—to Winnie