"I love you and my love for you never went away because I knew I loved you."
—to Jamie
#1078
"You're so beautiful. I just wish you were here so I could slide my cock inside of you. I'm so in love with you."
—to Winnie
#1077
"I have been spoiled while taking a shit, so I think you have been too."
—to Tiffany (Casey)
(Editor's note: No idea what he meant here—he later said he was trying to be funny)
#1076
"You were only supposed to be having sex with Maggie Jo's fiancé, and he was only supposed to be doing you ... in the rear."
—to Jamie, when Lorne found out she might be pregnant
#1075
Cas3y:
"You gotta stop being so insecure."
Lorne:
"Well, stop putting the insecurity in the way."
#1074
Lorne:
"Your career is killing our future."
Jamie:
"If you don't like it you can walk."
Lorne:
"Don't be a smart-ass."
#1072
"THEN YOU FUCKIN' REPEAT HIS STUPID FUCKIN' PHRASE—'FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS'—TO IMPRESS HIM!! YEAH, THAT'S SHOWIN' A LOT OF FUCKIN' FEELINGS FOR ME!!"
—to Jamie, about Cheffrey
#1071
"You and I are trying to get something going—trying to get something fuckin' going with us. Yet you're spending all kinds of fuckin' time with this other guy."
—to Cas3y, about a co-worker
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#1069
"You don't think I understand and I do! Just because I don't agree with what everyone says, cuz they don't have—they don't have the feelings that I have! They don't know what I went through! They don't know what brought me there!"
—to Tiffany
#1068
"You're puttin' your boyfriend on hold so you can check from a message from other guy!"
—to Jamie, about Rawd (not a typo)
#1067
"I had a good step-dad in SOME ways. My quote-unquote step-dad, he wasn't even really my step-dad. He never—negnngb neghgnnnghh—shared any emotional shit with me and stuff."
—to Cas3y, about Dale
#1063
"No. I don't listen to my own voice."
—to Winnie, when she asked him if he recognized his own voice
#1062
"I know, you want your spoiled ways again."
—to Tiffany (Casey), when she didn't want to be on the phone with him while she used the bathroom
#1060
"We've been through some shitty-ass fuckin' times. So there's obviously something special between me and you."
—to Jamie
#1058
Cas3y:
"You have no right to ask me who I'm texting throughout the day. It's none of your business."
Lorne:
"It IS my business and you KNOW it is."
Cas3y:
"It's not your business. Tell me how it's your business."
Lorne:
"I've got a lot of fuckin' stake—you know that I'm a hundred percent invested in you."
#1055
"I'm not mad about them protecting kids. I'm mad about the money they made doing it. It was wrong—the purpose that they did it ... was wrong."
—to Winnie, about Perverted Justice
#1054
"That ticket didn't do any ... ... justice."
—to Cas3y, about the fake plane ticket she sent Lorne
#1053
"I weren't stumbling over my words, trying to justify it. I was trying to get it straight in my head while trying to say it at the same time."
—to Jamie
#1052
"How do I know your phone's not getting hacked? Cuz you won't get a burn phone, cuz I'm not worth 31 bucks a month."
—to Ramona
#1051
"Your cunt's not gonna stink, your cunt's gonna smell good, cuz I'm gonna wash it—a lot. I'm gonna scrub it with my cock."
—to Winnie
#1050
"Jamie, if you keep the baby it'll be the end of us."
Jamie hangs up. Lorne calls her back...
"I'm sorry, I need to rephrase that. If you're pregnant with anybody else's baby, and you keep it, then it'll be the end of us."
#1049
"I guarantee I've paid more than anyone else has fuckin' paid for doin' somethin' like that!"
—to Tiffany, about how he supposedly has been punished more than any other pedophile
#1047
"I'll stand in front of you while you're taking a shit, and I'll get—I'll get naked."
—to Winnie
#1045
Lorne:
"Baby, can I tell you something? I am extremely proud of you right now."
Winnie:
"Why, because I threw up on the cat?"
Lorne: "No, because—yehhdyeh—you're bein' the wuh—you're bein' the woman that I fell in love with."
#1043
"I don't care if you LOOK. Leave your fuckin' interest in US."
—to Cas3y, about her looking at other men
#1040
"If you were here, I woulda just laid my head in your lap. I wouldn't have cared about anything else. It's just what I am—it's how I am."
—to Ramona, claiming he wouldn't have been drinking if they were together
#1037
"Thanks for wasting a year of my fuckin' life and—eehhh—4000 fuckin' dollars buyin' a goddam ring for your fuckin' dumb ass! And thanks for fuckin' cheating on me all them fuckin' times, asshole!"
—to Jamie
#1036
"I never had them thoughts before. When I got caught with NBC, I never fuckin' had them thoughts before."
—to Tiffany
(Editor's note: This is a blatant lie because we know of at least two REAL kids he groomed and abused online)
#1033
"Lately it's been fuckin' tooth and nail pullin' just to get you to—ennghg—call me."
—to Cas3y
#1032
"52 is way too old, unless you look like Jennifer Aniston."
—to Ramona, when Lorne was 47 years old (from a story she told the chat)
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Lorne's standard for dating a 52-year-old woman
#1027
"I'm very, very anxious ... for you to get out of rehab ... and come home to me ... so we can get in our tub together."
—to Winnie
#1026
"You know why I fuckin' drink like I do now? Cuz, cuz you don't give—cuz you don't pay attention to me like you used to."
—to Ramona
#1025
"The reason why I've lied to you so many times in the past is because I really didn't know if you were even you."
—to Cas3y
#1024
Tiffany:
"So you're saying that you want to drink because, in my eyes, you're thinking that in my eyes that makes you a bad boy."
Lorne:
"Yeah."
#1023
"I respect you not wanting to show me your tits 'til we're together. I just don't UNDERSTAND it."
—to Jamie
#1022
"You're sexy, you're hot, you're beautiful ... you're my goddess."
—to Winnie, just minutes after she puked on a cat
#1021
"I don't wanna get off [the phone] here and think that you're gonna fuckin' call some—uhh—call someone else and talk to them all fuckin' morning and not have anything to do with me all day tomorrow."
—to Ramona
#1020
"It doesn't matter how good a hitman is, they'll always trace it."
—to Cas3y, trying to convince her to not have him killed
#1019
"When you love someone you're not supposed to go around touching everybody else and taking your clothes off in front of other people—other guys."
—to Winnie
#1017
Ramona:
"You drink excessively."
Lorne:
"No, I don't. I don't even usually drink on a Tuesday night."
#1016
"I'm trying to fuckin' come out there and see you but—uhbmyuhb—this fuckin' shit shakes me right up."
—to Cas3y, about her liking a coworker
#1012
"Who cares?! Why do you keep counting hours?"
—to Ramona, when she told him they had been talking for 6 hours that day
#1011
Lorne:
"I want you to explain that to me. How am I a project?"
Cas3y:
"Alright, don't get mad at me then. You're in therapy, you're a registered sex offender, you're teeth are really bad, you're kind of uh, like, out of shape and not really, like, conventionally attractive; you're bald. You live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere. You work, like, a horrible, awful job. You're a chain smoker. Um, you always look so filthy, you don't have, like, nice clothes. You don't really have any sort of, like, value, as far as ... like, you don't have value. You take money from your elderly mother to buy you, like, a cellphone. There's times where you need to get cash advances from your boss to, like, purchase things like cigarettes and groceries. Um, you've been on unemployment—you get laid off constantly. Um ... I mean, I can keep going. You have no prior education—you have no education at all. You own nothing, you'll never be able to retire because you're—because of all the debt you have. You'll never be able to pay off your loans—you're, like, 25K in debt. You have no, like, career, you just work trucking jobs."
Lorne: "So how am I a project to you?"
#1008
"Apparently there's some part of me that's attracted to them. I don't know what it is, and I'm trying—Julie's trying to help me figure it out. I don't want to be attracted to anybody that's underage."
—to Cas3y, about his attraction to minors
#1006
"You don't wanna spend time with me. You wanna spend time with your internet faggot, James."
—to Jamie
#1005
"Yeah, but you like a bad boy."
—to Tiffany, about his theory that she wouldn't like it if he stopped drinking
#1002
"Do not fuckin'—do not fuckin' try to throw shit in my face, when you're fuckin' cokin' it up."
—to Winnie
#1000
"I'm gonna tell you a big secret that I have never told anybody else—EVER—including my mother. The only time that I know my voice ... is when I'm singing."
—to Winnie
#999
"The one thing that's going to fuckin' kill us is when you—enhgynngghh—keep your eyes wanderin' around."
—to Cas3y
#998
"Put my mom in front of my probation officer and my probation officer would get a mouthful."
—to Tiffany, about Mama Gwen's dismay that Lorne is still being "unfairly punished" for his crime
#993
"No wonder you had no problem showing your fuckin' asshole to fuckin' Miguel. It's a matter of wh-whu- whutel—what has gone inside of you... with Miguel."
—to Winnie
#991
"I want you to put your mouth on my balls, but ... problem is you're puttin' 'em on everybody else's."
—to Winnie
#990
Cas3y:
"What about, you said that little girls—you're attracted to them, but in a different way, that you aren't to boys."
Lorne:
"Cuz boys are boys and I'm not attracted to boys."
#986
"Yeah, well. I'm not gonna create miracles just so you can fuckin' get over shit I said."
—to Jamie
#985
Winnie:
[to someone in the background] "I like taquitos. Can I have one? Thank you."
Lorne:
"You like—you like the CHEATERS??”
#984
"Jesus Christ, Cas3y, where is your THINKING at?"
—to Cas3y, after she says his mom wasn't a good parent
#983
"I want you to stop protecting him. I want you to stop sticking up for him when it comes to me. He is not your boyfriend—I am. When are you gonna start stickin' up for me?"
—to Ramona, about the Doctor
#980
"Will you stop saying that '87' bullshit? When you say that '87' bullshit, the first thing I think of is Will."
—to Cas3y
#979
"There's only one woman I care about in a want-as-a-wife kind of way. And that's you."
—to Jamie
#978
"If you keep in contact with that fucking cunt, then I will drop contact with anybody! Including you!"
—to Ramona, about Emma
#975
Lorne:
"You're gonna tell me that if 17 was legal, that you wouldn't have sex with a 17-year-old kid?"
Cas3y:
"Absolutely not."
Lorne:
"Rrrright."
#972
Jamie:
"How do you make it so you enjoy [sex] longer?"
Lorne:
"Mmngnngh.... I just enjoy it longer. It feels better. So I make it—I make it last."
Jamie:
"How?"
Lorne:
"Sssssconcentration. Don't let 'er fly before it's too late—er, before it's too early."
#970
Lorne:
"I know you're not giving me the fuckin' chance that I deserve. "
Debbie:
"Why do you think you deserve something?"
Lorne:
"Because I DO deserve a chance."
#969
"You better get your fuckin' head off Dan's COCK! Because if you don't, you LOST me!"
—to Winnie
#966
"Yeah, well, be a WOMAN and take the fuckin' spiders off your legs."
—to Emma, about her tattoos, which Lorne thinks are evil
#965
Winnie:
“I ain't your girl.”
Lorne.
“Well, you need to be, dontcha. You know—you know you wanna be and you know I want you to be and you know we're in love with each other and you know we're gonna get married.”
#964
"No, I'm not CURED. There'll always be somethin' I'll find cute about a minor; doesn't mean it's going to be a little girl. Could be someone that's 17 years old."
— to Cas3y
#959
"I told myself a long time ago that I would never get caught up in a sting or anything like that, and look what happened. I wound up getting caught up in a sting."
—to Cas3y
#957
Ramona:
"You're an alcoholic."
Lorne:
"Yeah, well, you got some shit goin' on with the doctor you're not bein' honest about."
#954
"I was a good person to begin with. I just had some issues."
—to Tiffany (Debbie), about his history of trying to molest children
#952
Ramona:
"What have you done to make me love you?"
Lorne:
"What have YOU done to get me past being a registered sex offender?"
#951
"I want you to know I'm proud of you for making an Italian sausage and I love you."
—text to Jamie
#950
"So far this morning you've rubbed her pussy and sucked on her tit. Good job cheating on me."
—to Winnie, about Jamie
#948
Cas3y:
"You failed the test."
Lorne:
"I didn't fail that test."
Cas3y:
"You failed the test."
Lorne:
"Well, maybe I did."
#947
"Debbie, you don't wanna give me a fuckin' chance, there's no reason for me to keep just fuckin' hangin' on, because all you've done is damage."
—to Tiffany (Debbie)
#944
"There's a reason why she has fuckin' spiders tattoos on her legs."
—to Ramona, about Emma, and her evil tattoos
#942
"Oh, bullshit, you didn't miss the fuckin' call! You're—ENGROSSED in talkin' to Todd and lookin' at his muscles!"
—to Jamie
#941
"Can't keep them fuckin' cocks away from ya, can ya. That's why you like Miguel wiping your fucking ass. Something sexual."
—to Winnie
#940
"And all of a sudden I got some cop showin' up at my door saying I'm suicidal when I don't even believe in it!"
—to Ramona
#939
"You can't tell me that you're not attracted to me, cuz—ehhh—it's even in your voice that you're attracted to me."
—to Tiffany
#937
"That was the first time that I lied to you since I told you before that I wouldn't lie to you."
—to Cas3y
#936
"I s'pose now you're gonna find some guy and rub his dick with your toes .... try to jack him off with your feet."
—to Winnie
#934
"You know who Mr Penis's girlfriend is. You walk with her between your legs every day."
—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy
#931
“Casey, I wanna know that—ennghgkez—cuz you and I together actually have a potential that we could make a lot of money together if we wanted to. And I wanna know that if we did wind up doin' somethin' like that, and makin' a lot of money, that you wouldn't just have me killed. It's easy to hire hitmen.”
—to Cas3y
#928
“We went to the bar and we ate at the bar before we went to the bar.”
—to Jamie, about his past Valentine, Brandy
#926
"I will never talk to that goddamn cunt again! And you better never talk to that fuckin' cunt again, other than to fuckin' say goodbye!"
—to Ramona, about Emma
#925
"Maybe you said no because you wanna be somebody else's Valentine, what the fuck do I know."
—to Jamie
#922
"Wasn't even a month ago and he was fuckin' cleanin' your pussy! When-when-when-when he did NOT need to!"
—to Winnie, about Miguel
#921
Lorne:
"Because I'm not supposed to be drinkin' and I had a couple—"
Ramona:
"Then why are you drinking?"
Lorne:
"Probably because my girlfriend doesn't want a FUCKIN' thing to do with me! Because she stays up all—she stays up all night talking to some COCKsucker on the fuckin' phone, and isn't bein' honest with me!"
#919
Lorne:
"I DO deserve a chance!"
Debbie:
"Why?"
Lorne:
"Why?! Because yuh—you're the one that fuckin' took me away from Winnie!"
#918
"You're killing us because you can't pull Will's head outta your ass, and you can't get his cock outta your hand!"
—to Jamie
#914
"You don't really think you're the first beautiful woman that I've—nyeh—fuckin' dated, do ya?"
—to Tiffany (Debbie)
#913
"In a relationship, aren't you supposed to be changing for some—uh—for—for that person you're with?"
—to Cas3y
#912
"Not all of them like me. But their curiosity about me makes them subscribe. "
—text to Winnie, about his YouTube followers
#911
"Meanwhile, millions of other people walk around with Valentines, because they actually care about them and want them to know it's them they care about and them they wanna be with."
—to Jamie
#910
"So who is Nick? Who is Nick? Who is Nick? Who is Nick?"
—to Ramona, about the mysterious Nick Bagler
#904
"Put yer- put your boyfriend up to the phone ... so I can tell him off."
—to Winnie, who was actually alone
#902
Debbie:
"And then you SCREAM the songs at the top of your lungs."
Lorne:
"I do. I put everything into it."
#901
"The funny thing is, 'good-n-you' goes with anything."
—to Jamie, about why his favorite saying is superior to hers
#899
Cas3y:
“Why are little girls cuter than little boys?”
Lorne:
“Because I'm a guy and I think females are beautiful anyway.”
#896
Jamie:
"I'm tired of being yelled and screamed at because baby boy Lorne only cares about his feelings."
Lorne:
"Yeah, well I'm tired of fuckin' Jamie wantin' Wildo up her cunt all the time."
#895
"He's part of the government too, you know. He works for them. They hire him—like 300 dollars an hour."
—to Cas3y, about the Polygrapher that "lied" about Lorne fantasizing about a 9-year-old girl
#894
"Listen ... you was ready to go out and cheat on me tonight .... do not ever say anything about anything that I ever done in my life."
—to Winnie
#893
"Open the top of your pajama bottom and put my kiss on your vagina."
—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy
#889
"After my WIFE is the one that wanted to fuckin' cheat on me tonight, don't think that anything is fuckin' kosher."
—to Winnie
#888
"You want to get to know me? Start concentrating like you used to. You used to concentrate on me so fucking hard."
—to Ramona
#880
"As long as my tongue is moving around and making her feel good then I'm doing something right."
—to Cas3y, about oral sex
#878
"If you don't give a fuck about me, I want you to tell me! DO YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME?!"
—to Ramona
#873
"She just took over a month ago—a month and a half ago. I'm still learning her name."
—to a police officer, about Maria, his counselor
#871
"That's what it's supposed to be, just a number, but ... it's the number of the devil."
—to Jamie, about the number 666
#870
Lorne:
"You got me out of a lot of shit!"
Ramona:
"Lorne, you're still in all of that stuff."
Lorne:
"YOU'RE THE ONE PUTTING ME IN IT!!"
#869
"Have you read anything that made you say WOW to?"
—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy (chat day 1)
#868
"If I wouldn't a' been in that sad state, they wouldn't have been able to get me to go there. They went to—ehh—extensive lengths to get people to go there."
—to Cas3y, about Perverted Justice
#867
"You wanna do fuckin' stupid shit to me earlier, I'm gonna do fuckin' stupid shit to you now."
—to Winnie
#863
"It was my sister that—my sister and her husband that actually sat me down when I was 17 and taught me about—about sex."
—to Cas3y
#859
"You better practice having your legs spread wide open because I'm going to be between them a lot."
—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy
#858
"Trying to get laid ... is what is fucking bad ... that is some bad-ass shit that you're playin' with for goddamn fuckin' fire."
—to Winnie
(not a typo—he was DRONK-dronk)
#857
"It made me feel like somebody gave a fuck and was finally trying to get me out of being the person that other fuckin' people had fuckin' turned me into, when I knew I wasn't that person."
—to Ramona, about when she used to "concentrate" on him
#856
"They didn't have me on the internet for FIVE YEARS ... because of the people on the internet."
—to Cas3y
#854
"I'm completely insane?! I write you fuckin' poems, I sing to you. I give you attention that you fuckin' deserve. And I'm completely insane because of that?"
—to Tiffany (Debbie)
#853
"It was your fuckin' dick that went where it weren't supposed to be."
—to Will, about Will cheating on Winnie
#851
"All I wanted you to do was set the boundaries with him so he would know that—mngh ennghg—that me and you were going to be together."
—to Cas3y, about Alex
#850
"You want Dan's cock fuckin' shoved right down your fuckin' throat cuz you can't shut your fuckin' mouth about Dan, so what the fuck ever, go ahead."
—to Winnie
#847
"Alright, Debbie, I love you. That's what the fuckin' problem is. I love you and I want a fuckin' chance."
—to Tiffany (Debbie)
#846
"You fuck around with my goddamn mother, you bet your ass I will not have anything to do with you."
—to Ramona
#844
Winnie:
"Why do you keep hanging up on me like a baby?"
Lorne:
"Because you're trying to get laid like a slut."
#842
"If it was a perfect world I would have wanted you to not sleep with him."
—to Tiffany/Casey, about her ex
#841
"Right now you are the ONLY one that I would ever fuckin' tell a story to. But I can't do that until I fuckin' know exactly how you are."
—to Ramona
#840
"Would you like to see IT up close so you can get a better look at it?"
—to Kayla, the 13-year-old (first day of chat)
#837
Winnie:
"Hiya."
Lorne:
"Did you just call me a liar?"
Winnie:
"I said HIYA."
Lorne:
"Oh, hiya. Why didn't you just say 'fuck me in the ass' and I woulda known it was you."
#833
"They had sex before, but there were years that they went without having sex."
—to Cas3y, about his mother and step-father
#831
"I'm tossed completely because, you know, the kid wasn't made out of love."
—to Tiffany (Casey), about her unborn child
#830
"Was he a good kisser?"
—to Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy, about her 13-year-old ex-boyfriend, Derek
#829
"YOU TOLD ME 'FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS' TO IMPRESS SOME FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT ON THE INTERNET!"
—to Jamie, about Cheffrey
#828
"That motherfucker is a major fuckin' threat to me, because you fuckin' put him there, and nobody else did it, so take responsibility for what YOU fuckin' did."
—to Ramona, about the Doctor
#827
"I was gonna protect her, from the beginning. That's what I wanted to do at the beginning. It turned around."
—to Cas3y, about Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy
#826
"Why don't we call Emma. Why don't we call Emma, and you keep your fucking mouth shut, while I ask her a couple questions."
—to Winnie
#825
"So what, I'm on the registry, who gives a fuck?!"
—to Tiffany (Debbie), trying to convince her that he deserves a chance
#824
Jamie: "Are you crying?"
Lorne: "THE FUCK'S IT MATTER TO YOU— YOU DON'T CARE! AS LONG AS YOU GET TO SPEND TIME WITH ... CUNTHOLE CHEFFREY!!"
#823
Lorne:
"This really sucks cuz we fuckin' had it."
Cas3y:
"Had what?"
Lorne:
"We had it right up to that point."
#822
"LOVING SOMEONE IS NOT BRINGING A DOCTOR IN CLOSER THAT IS A THREAT TO YOUR BOYFRIEND!"
—to Ramona
#821
"The only thing you did was try to pull more fuckin' power on of how to fuckin' make me feel unsecure about you."
—to Winnie
#820
“I'll be a dick about it until you say somethin' to him.”
—to Cas3y, about how she was supposed to get rid of Alex
#817
"If you can burp in your boyfriend's ear like that, what could possibly hold you back from going out back and peeing?"
—to Tiffany/Casey, about how he wants her to pee in the backyard like he does
#814
"I'm tryin' my ass off to get you the proof. And you know that. If I wasn't tryin' my ass off to get you the proof then—then I could stand that I—understand that you'd think I was lying. But the steps that I'm going through to try to get you the proof, I would think you'd know that something must be being told true."
—to Cas3y, about getting proof that he's not attracted to minors
#812
"I'm pissed because you're fuckin' not givin' me a fuckin' chance that I deserve."
—to Tiffany (Debbie)
#811
"There are some real weirdos on here."
—to Kayla, warning her about the dangers of the internet
#808
"I was offended by the dress that they had her wearing because of the predators that are out there."
—to Cas3y, about a 9-year-old girl on television whom Lorne admitted fantasizing about
#804
"You gonna dance with your BITCH that you got there that's gonna FUCK you tonight?!"
—to Winnie
#801
Lorne:
"Hang on, I gotta button my pants back up."
Tiffany:
"Don't. Keep them down."
Lorne:
"ENHGHHGHHHHow the fuck did you just know that?! [laughs like an idiot] That's fucked up! How'd you know I was doin' that?! That's fucked right up—ehghnngnghguh—that's kinda fucked up that you knew I had to button my pants up."
#800
Lorne:
"What city is your house in?"
Winnie:
"Inglewood."
Lorne:
"Yeah, in the woods. Can't eve—can't even be honest with me about that."
#799
"I'm fucking telling you, I am THE most fuckin' safe person around children—around anyone!"
—to Ramona
#797
"Maria had no reason to lie 9 times in court under oath, and she did."
—to Cas3y, about Maria, his counselor
#794
"As much as I put my fucking heart into the person that loves me, that's what they're gonna get back!"
—to Ramona
[Editor's Note: I know, makes zero sense]
#793
"What if blood is coming out of my mouth, are you gonna do everything you can—are you gonna do mouth-to-mouth?"
—to Tiffany
#791
"When I first started talking to her I wanted to look out for her. And then ... then it just turned around. And 'til this day I still try to figure that out.”
—to Cas3y, about Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy
#790
"I didn't call you a bitch. I called you an asshole, because you're being an asshole."
—to Ramona
#787
"Call Dan, but you better fuckin' stick to whuh—what I fuckin' said because you and I are on the balance."
—to Winnie
#785
Lorne:
"You're part of fuckin' Nathaniel!"
Ramona:
"Wait, I thought I was Paula."
Lorne:
"Yeah, well, you're fuckin' both of 'em!"
#783
"YOU HAVE BEEN IN PERSON WITH FUCKING DAN! HOW DO I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T SUCKED HIS COCK?!"
—to Winnie
#780
"If you've cheated on me, then I need to know about it. If-if-if you fuckin' haven't cheated on me, I need to know. If you talk bad about my mom, I need to know. If you praise my mom, I need to fuckin' know."
—to Ramona
#779
"Don't laugh at me. If you laugh at me I'll hang up, because it just tells me you're not serious about us."
—to Tiffany
#778
"Whatta ya want, boo-boo. Big fucking boo-boo. Big fucking boo-boo since now I know you and Dan have been having fuckin' phone sex. Oops! Whaaaaaaat a fuckin' big boo-boo! That's a biiiiig fucking boo-boo, considering I figured it all out."
—to Winnie
#777
"Yesterday I sent you a picture of my cock, and you never even noticed! And you never even scrolled up to see when you did know!"
—to Jamie
#775
"I got basically booted out of the group of friends I had just because I decided not to play basketball. So I remained quiet for 5 years."
—to Cas3y
#774
Ramona:
"So we're back to the doctor, hey?"
Lorne:
"Well, hey, you put the cocksucker there, not me. I certainly did not put him there."
#773
"If you start to defend your dad you know I'm gonna be pissed off. So you better think ... about a hundred times ... before you defend your dad."
—to Tiffany/Casey
#772
"Well ... I bet ANY guy would be happy you're eating a fuckin' pretzel."
—to Winnie, in a strange attempt to accuse her of cheating
#769
"My mother is number one. Even with you right there—doesn't matter. My mom is number one."
—to Ramona
#768
"And he's already given you hints of getting to level 69 and bein' devilish!"
—to Jamie, about James
#761
"We need to work on your manners, because we noticed your dad never teached you about manners."
—to Tiffany/Casey
#760
"I was bein' sexual with someone I shouldn't have been being sexual with."
—to Cas3y, about Kayla, the 13-year-old decoy